On Piss Patrol…

 

There ain't no party like a Distortion party. (Photo Credit: Amass)

There ain’t no party like a Distortion party. (Photo Credit: Amass)

So we survived the weekend with Distortion at our backdoor.

Sometimes you gotta make do with what you have..thus, the ghetto barrier. (Photo Credit: Amass)

Sometimes you gotta make do with what you have..thus, the ghetto barrier. (Photo Credit: Amass)

The actual festival was about a half-kilometer from the restaurant. At first we thought that we would be just guiding people past the garden to the festival. The reality was that the situation was going to be much more intense.

 

 

 

And the masses start piling in... (Photo Credit: Amass)

And the masses start piling in… (Photo Credit: Amass)

It started off pretty chill with groups of about 50 coming in with the harbor taxi. Then unbeknownst to the organizers of Distortion, some individuals took it upon themselves to pull a flatbed truck with a massive sound system right next to the restaurant and start their own party…to the tune of seven-to-eight thousand people partying 50 meters from our garden.  But this is not to suggest I was Mr. Grumpy – I’ve been to plenty of music festivals in my lifetime and if it weren’t for the fact it was MY restaurant I was guarding, I would have been right there with them. I can tell you now that I will not be venturing out into the field that surrounds the garden until there is a proper down pour to wash it all away. At one point we started warning people that were venturing out into the field to relieve themselves that they might want to think twice about it due to the high amount of urine that they would be wading through. It didn’t seem to bother most of them. But it took about 12 volunteers from various walks of life helping to defend the beds from saturation.

Don't let the baby face fool you. Casper was our muscle in defending Fort Amass. (Photo Credit: Amass)

Don’t let the baby face fool you. Casper was our muscle in defending Fort Amass. (Photo Credit: Amass)

 

Thank you so much to everyone who came out to do battle and to those who literally put themselves in the line of fire. And most importantly, our little seedlings thank you. Their lives depended on your help.

 

 

Day two was a bit more calm. There were half the amount of people on the island – so we were dealing with 20,000 not 45,000 people. But in defense of the masses that showed up literally in our backyard, I have to say all in all people were very considerate. As soon as any of us spoke up about their choice of spots to potentially pee, they immediately said that they were very sorry and moved off into the field. At about 11 PM, we decided that it was calm enough to abandon the post. I had a wristband that had been burning a hole in my pocket all day. Julie and Jacquie went home. I was a bit worried about 4:00 when the party started to fizzle out and what might happen when people started to leave. I had a few hours to kill so I went to the party to listen to some tunes and headed back to the garden around 4:00. I sat in the garden for 45 minutes and watched the zombies stumble by. No one had it in them at that point to do anything that required extra energy so I headed home.

What makes it worth it

And this is what makes it worth it all. (Photo Credit: Amass)

All in all it wasn’t as bad as it might sound. It was quite entertaining to watch so many people having fun. It is not often that you get to be a part of such a large gathering of people. The energy was great. We decide next year that it will be impossible to open the restaurant on these dates. Instead of fighting the party like we did this year we are going to embrace it. We will close the restaurant and set up a proper barrier around the garden and at the mouth of that barrier put up a BBQ area and sell really good sandwiches and beers. So look out for the Amass at Distortion next year. But mind you…we’ll still be on piss patrol.